8th August 2012
I must admit I am quite surprised not to have heard from you over the past few days. You may recall that you promised that Edinburgh Trams would be in touch with candidates for the TRAM GENERAL MANAGER position, to advise them whether they have been selected for the next stage in the process (online ability and psychometric tests), by last Friday (3rd August).
To date I have still heard ABSOLUTELY NOTHING from you regarding where I can access these tests. At first I was somewhat concerned that you might have slipped behind your published recruitment schedule, let's face it, that wouldn't exactly be unknown for Edinburgh Trams. I must admit I had a bit of a panic attack when I thought that maybe the entire recruitment process had been halted due to the recent public outcry regarding the appointment of several more people to the Edinburgh GRAVY-TRAM with nothing for them to do for at least two years. I could almost see that £80K SALARY slipping through my fingers, Marie!
Luckily I soon came to my senses, and realised the obvious reason - the other candidates have probably not been quite so efficient in demonstrating their skills and abilities via email as myself, and you have obviously decided to FAST-TRACK my application straight to the next stage (interview).
Of course this is quite acceptable, but I suggest you probably should tell candidates when they have been selected for a fast-track recruitment process like this, to put their minds at rest. Transport Convener Lesley Hinds was telling me just yesterday that one of her main aims is to improve communication regarding Edinburgh Trams, and I think it's time for you to embrace that sentiment too, Marie.
However, I am happy to confirm that I will be available for the face-to-face panel interview commencing 13th August. Would you like me to prepare a presentation?
Actually, I have started my presentation already, Marie. It is entitled "SELLING EDINBURGH TRAMS". Don't worry, I'm not referring to the inevitable selling of the entire tram line to someone like FirstGroup for a nominal £1 in about 2020! No, my presentation is about SELLING the IDEA of EDINBURGH TRAMS to a cynical public, after many years of pointless disruption to their lives and businesses.
To SELL the IDEA of EDINBURGH TRAMS making a WORTHY CONTRIBUTION to the city, we need to make full use of the popular public profiles of some of the key players in the development of our Tram line. Seeing these popular characters endorsing the line is sure to bring the public back ONBOARD. I suggest we select some UPBEAT phrases praising the trams, and feature these as part of the tram livery. We could associate these POSITIVE phrases with respected well-known local characters.
As you have probably guessed by now, I have put together some artists impressions to give you an idea of the sort of thing I mean. I'll bring a camera along to the interview and hopefully take some better photos we can use. With 27 trams, we can probably feature most of the Edinburgh Trams employees or tram advocates somewhere on a tram.
As an extension of this idea, I was also thinking we could perhaps offer members of the public the chance to have their (or their loved ones) faces featured on an Edinburgh Tram? What significant-other could fail to be impressed by the unique Anniversary gift that says it all - their face on the back end of a tram?
As well as being a sure-fire revenue earner, this would help reinforce the idea that we are IN TOUCH with the man on the street. We are LISTENING, and LESSONS have surely been LEARNT.
I've got some more exciting ideas for my presentation too, but I'm not sure if we will have time to include them. If you could let me know where the interviews are going to be held, and whether there is equestrian access, that would be of great use and would be much appreciated.
TRAM GENERAL MANAGER of the FUTURE!